


Never-Ending Night

by kuriositet



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-10 23:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/791185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuriositet/pseuds/kuriositet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nasir loses his memory after an accident and Castus refuses to give up on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never-Ending Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crystalchain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalchain/gifts).



> Jas requested Remember Me, so this is for her <3
> 
> So much gratitude to Yasmin for looking over it for me.

Castus talks. He talks for hours. He talks about work, he talks about Auctus, and the kid Auctus is head over heels in love with and moving in with even though it’s only been two months. He talks about Kore and how well she’s doing in college and he talks about Mira and Chadara adopting two little kittens. He talks about how Laeta’s newly opened coffee shop is doing really well and that she can’t wait for Nasir to get better so he can visit.

Nasir is silent most of the time, but every now and then he will ask, “Laeta… how do I know her?”

“You went to High School together,” Castus replies.

“Right,” Nasir says, nodding and squeezing his eyes shut like he’s really trying to remember it this time. Castus squeezes his hand over the table. “And you? How do I know you?”

Castus clenches his jaw, feels the familiar lump build in his throat and forces himself not to blink when he looks over at Nasir. It’s not his fault, he reminds himself. Everything sucks and Castus isn’t sure it’s ever going to stop sucking, but it’s not Nasir’s fault, nor is it his own.

Nasir looks down at their entwined hands, confusion evident in his eyes, and withdraws his hand. “Who are you?”

*

The apartment doesn’t feel like home anymore. It doesn’t feel like his home. Nasir has been gone from it for so long that nothing about it feels right, yet it is still more Nasir’s than Castus’. It was Nasir’s long before Castus moved in, and even though both their names are on the contract and Castus has lived there for three years, he still has moments when he thinks of it as Nasir’s. Now more than ever.

The kitchen is still full of Nasir’s old mismatched cutlery, plates and glasses. In the living room there are Nasir’s odd movie and music collections, and in the bedroom there is a huge bookcase, full of Nasir’s favorite reads. In the closet hangs Nasir’s clothes, and when Castus wakes up and needs to piss in the middle of the night he still trips over Nasir’s hairbrush on the floor because he always forgets to pick it up. 

At one point the doctors had thought living at home would aid Nasir’s recovery and discharged him. It had been fine for a short while. The first hour Nasir remained calm, though he was clearly uncomfortable. There were so many pictures in the apartment. Of them together, and of Nasir with many of his friends, and it clearly upset him. Then he had asked when he could go home and all hell broke loose when Castus said this was his home. 

Now Castus only visits him at the home where they are surrounded by nurses who may sedate Nasir if things get out of control. It has only happened once, and Castus tries to be aware of the signs so that he may stop it before Nasir lashes out.

*

“This is where we first met,” Castus says, showing Nasir the pictures he had taken of Auctus’ restaurant. “I worked in the bar and, when your date was a dick and walked out, you sat and talked to me for hours.”

Nasir nods, staring intently at a picture of a glass of red. “You came back the next night with Mira, not knowing her ex worked there, and that’s how she and Chadara came to rekindle their relationship.”

“Mira?” Nasir asks and looks up.

“You work together. She teaches 2nd grade, and you—”

“I teach 1st grade.”

“Yeah.” Castus grins. This kind of detail isn’t uncommon for Nasir to remember, but it makes him happy every time nonetheless. “You’re great at it. The kids love you, and you them.”

“I was in an accident. On my way home from work.” He’s looking down at the pictures again.

“Yeah, you were.”

*

“Castus, you are as a brother to me. I just want you to be happy,” Auctus says as he clears the table. The new boyfriend is out with his brother, giving Castus and Auctus a rare opportunity to hang out on their own and make use of Auctus’ kitchen.

“What would you have me do? I can’t give up on him.” 

“You don’t know that he is ever gonna get better. It’s been over a year, Castus, and he hardly remembers anything.” Auctus starts a pot of coffee. “Perhaps it’s time for you to think about moving on.”

“I can’t. If our roles were reversed… I know with all my heart that he would never give up.”

“And you’re willing to bet your life on it?”

“Wouldn’t you?” Castus counters. “For Duro?”

“Yeah, I would.”

*

It’s a beautiful day early in May that Castus decides to take Nasir to the park two blocks from the apartment. It’s been a little over eighteen months since the accident and Nasir’s hair has almost grown all the way out again where they had to shave it at the hospital.

“You’re someone important,” Nasir says when they sit at their favorite bench. They can see the pond from here, where children are feeding the ducks, but that’s not why it’s their favorite. 

“I am your partner.” Castus isn’t sure the term even means anything to Nasir, but Nasir nods and doesn’t let go of Castus’ hand.

“This place,” he says, looking around, “I think I remember it.”

“We used to come here a lot.”

“We always sit here,” Nasir adds, catching Castus by surprise. “This is our bench.”

“It is.” They had often joked about carving their initials into the wood, and Castus even brought a pocketknife once, but Nasir had chickened out. Castus wants to tell Nasir why it is their bench, he wants to tell him all about the important little moments they have shared here, but more than that he wants to see if Nasir can remember them on his own.

“Can we stay awhile?”

“Yes, we can.”

Nasir hugs him when Castus drops him off at the home later. He hugs him tight and doesn’t let go right away, and Castus can’t help but cling a little because it has been so long since Nasir had let him hold him like that. “You’re important,” Nasir says again, and Castus drives home with a lighter mind than he has had in a long time.

*

Laeta is the first person Nasir remembers. She shows up at the apartment afterwards, tears in her eyes and smiling so wide Castus fears her jaw is going to break. “He knew who I was. He remembered me.” Castus hugs her tight, heart hammering in his chest. This is the best news he has gotten in weeks.

*

He takes Nasir to the park a few more times, and every time Nasir seems more at home there. He is content to just sit there for hours, sometimes in silence and sometimes talking, asking about things he can’t remember, about Castus and their life together, or telling Castus about little things he remembers.

“I like to sit here and watch the stars,” Nasir says, even sounding like he’s telling Castus rather than himself. “You can see them really clear here, between those trees.”

“The stars will be out soon. We can wait if you like.” It’s October now and night falls quickly. 

“Yes, yes that would be nice.” Nasir nestles into his side, for warmth probably, and Castus puts his arm around him. 

There are days when he thinks this is the best he can hope for; trust and Nasir being comfortable around him. He thinks he might never get his Nasir back, the Nasir that always drops his hairbrush on the floor for Castus to step on, the Nasir that only laughs when Castus tells him how beautiful he is, the Nasir that Castus had fallen helplessly in love with in a matter of weeks. He thinks it’s okay, though. He loves Nasir either way, and one day he thinks this Nasir might love him too.

They sit in silence as the stars appear one by one, and the moonlight makes Nasir’s skin glow.

“You walked me home after our first date,” Nasir says suddenly. “And we came through here.” Castus can feel his heart racing. He remembers that night like it was yesterday. “You wanted to stay, even though it was freezing.”

“I didn’t want the night to end.” Nasir turns a little against him and their faces are so close Castus can’t look into his eyes without going cross-eyed. 

“It didn’t. It never did.” Castus doesn’t dare move, not until Nasir does, carefully pressing their lips together. He kisses back, as gently as he can, terrified that he might scare Nasir off.

Nasir is looking at him when he pulls back though, and there is something different about him and his eyes. Recognition. 

“We kissed here,” Nasir says, “And you came home with me, and…” He pauses, as if he is still sorting out the bits and pieces of this memory he has just found. “You tripped on something…”

“Your hairbrush. I tripped over it and nearly broke my leg.”

“I remember that!” Nasir exclaims, sounding far too excited about something Castus remembers being very painful. Nasir seems to realize that too. “I remember that. And I remember that you stayed. I remember you.”

Castus throat closes up and he thinks he might cry, but Nasir kisses him again, slow and hesitant. Nasir’s fingers are warm against his face and his lips are the sweetest thing Castus has tasted in a very long time.

“I remember this. I remember you.”

*

Castus is more nervous than he has been in his entire life the next time he goes to see Nasir. What if he has forgotten again? What if the memory was only temporary? What if Nasir is never going to completely come back to him?

He knows the moment he sees Nasir that his concerns are without reason though, because Nasir smiles in recognition.

“I know who you are,” he says. “You’re Castus.”


End file.
